The Shroud Underground

Nathaniel Lambert · Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 12:17 am Post subject: No Bullshit

I'm a huge BS'er. There's a good chance that anything coming out of my mouth has at least been ever so slightly eschewed. You know, for the theatrics.
Well, I've probably picked the worst profession to be a professional bullshitter. I'm a scientist in training and my overeducated, over-pontificating peers won't let me get away with even an iota of a tall tale.

You could be telling a story of the consistency of your latest deposit at the porcelain king and they'll want stastitics.

"I don't think you can, with confidence, state that the consistency is as you have observed. If you ask me, it's academic. An artifact I tell you. Come back to me when you have an N number that will give you a stastical significance of around P = 0.005."

Man, spinning a tale just isn't quite the same when you have to know what the hell you're talking about.

Natalie L. Sin · Grand Master Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 85

I hang around a lot of science people. Some of them enjoy me, but I think about half are bewildered at how my better-half ended up with me. One guy actually told me "I don't read books."
Where do you take the conversation from there? Shocked

Nathaniel Lambert · Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 12:24 am Post subject:

M · Initiate Joined: 22 Mar 2008 Posts: 2 Location: Arkham

rsmccoy · Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 12:20 am Post subject:

I got a BA degree and an MA degree primarily because I'm a great bullshitter and I wanted the degrees as quickly and with the least amount of effort.

I have a straight job, but there is no N in my job. I bullshit people and need to know when they are bullshitting me. Not a bad gig and it's something different every day.

Not sure how you handle it, there doesn't seem to be much room for creativity in the lab

Phil Kuhlman · Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 4:20 am Post subject:

I'm an actor and used to be the assistant tech director for the Kerrville performing arts society. If ever there was a line of work that required good bs'ing skills, it's acting and in turn dealing with actors.

KevinLucia · Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 1:20 pm Post subject:

I teach high school English, sooooo....draw your own conclusions. Wink

Phil Kuhlman · Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 3:48 pm Post subject:

I can't even imagine how many times you had to use the line "You'll need to know this for something important someday!" and knowing you were full of it. Wink

KevinLucia · Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:09 pm Post subject:

It sorta stinks, because the worst part about being an English teacher is knowing the following:

1. Yes, the students will all need basic writing skills someday - but when you think about it, how many of them will actually need to write the 5 paragraph essay with a thesis statement for their careers? Even for college students - the only folks who need that for a career are those staying in acedamia, and those becoming teachers.

2. We as English teachers - especially young ones - are indoctrinated with the mantra "students read less and less, we must make them read this much per year". What I've noticed in my 8 yr career is this: most students read plenty - they just don't want to read what we're making them read.

KevinLucia · Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:11 pm Post subject:

Maybe I should start teaching a "Leisure Fiction" unit, start assigning Keene, Rainey, Laimo, Sangiovanni and Garton? Would that go over well with parents? Shocked

lcrisler · Initiate Joined: 04 Apr 2008 Posts: 14

Shit. I'd go back to school for that one!
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Phil Kuhlman · Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 5:31 am Post subject:

Just as long as at no point do you insist on your kids reading Cold Equations then I'd go for it.

Barry Napier · Acolyte Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Posts: 26

I keep telling myself that I'm going to go back to school to get my MA in Creative Writing. That way, if the writing gig doesn't pan out, I'll always have teaching at a university as an option.

The one sentence I would love to utter before I die: "Alright class, today we'll be discussing the adolescent values and trauma that seem to prevail throughout Mr. King's 'It'."
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KevinLucia · Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 3:43 pm Post subject:

Barry Napier · Acolyte Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Posts: 26

Hmm, so yeah...now I think I'm sold. quite the argument you have going there. Also, very cool idea you have for a collection there. I've been trying something similar, but I can never get it to work; each story ends up too long.
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