The Shroud Underground

Phil Kuhlman · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:42 am Post subject: Worst stories you've ever read.

Sometimes a story will just make us angry, or surprised that the writer got a chance to get the story published, or just make us sad that we wasted a few minutes of reading time on it. So what are the worst stories you've ever read?

The first one that springs to mind is the first story that ever just made me angry at the poor logic displayed by the characters and the way the writer wrote it as if it was a good thing what happened, and that would be "Cold Equations". I had to read it in sophomore English and got into an hour long argument about all the holes in logic in the story and the way it's presented like it was the only option to shoot a 60 pound girl into space instead of doing the same thing with the extra crap that would be onboard the ship. Hell, they could have blasted that much in food since it was a lot of food for a large community, and I think it'd be worth it to save a life to go without a couple meals over a couple weeks.

The second is Mr. Murder by Dean Koontz. The movie was still somehow worse, and it took a massive amount of effort to do that I'm sure.

The Eye of Argon also comes in, but I'm not sure if I should count it since it was more of an underground fanfiction thing that became the ultimate "how not to write a fantasy novel" novel. But you should read it anyway just to see how bad it is, it's like a bad movie that you just can't stop watching...like the new Herbie movie.

**shroud** · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:45 pm Post subject:

This is a tough one. While I won't say it was the worst I had read, Dan Brown's Deception Point was nearly unreadable-- a stark contrast to Angels and Demons and The DaVinci Code. You can definitely see how he became more talented the more that he wrote.
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lcrisler · Initiate Joined: 04 Apr 2008 Posts: 14

Anything by Nick Pacione makes me want to chug a pint of PineSol.
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Natalie L. Sin · Inquisitor Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 76

I nominate "Tick Tock."

KevinLucia · Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 9:37 am Post subject:

Usually, I'm pretty forgiving - a book has to be REALLY bad for me not to like it, and I usually give things several tries. I wasn't all that interested in Mr. Murder when I first picked it up; put it right back down again. Several months later, though, I read it and liked it.

It seems like a lot of John Saul's works have been awfully thin lately. "Perfect Nightmare" was just....ugh. Mechanically fine, of course, and you can see Saul's talent....but the story was just weak.

Nathaniel Lambert · Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 12:38 pm Post subject:

I have a soft spot for Mr. Saul. His book "Nathaniel" was one of the first horror novels I read. Spooky ghost kid with the same name as me...

isaiyan · Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:04 pm Post subject:

Blackwood Farm by Anne Rice.

I don't think I made it past the first chapter

Hazard · Initiate Joined: 05 Jul 2008 Posts: 5

Can't stand straight horror novels. They seem so derivative. I prefer the kind of thing that can stand on its own as literature even if that means the horror element is thin. Supernatural fiction that has a meaning outside of itself, a message without being preachy.

The last horror novel I read that I really hated was one of Clive Barker's. That put me off horror for a long time until I came back to it by reading some supernatural short stories by Gaston Leroux and Guy De Maupassant.

Hazard · Initiate Joined: 05 Jul 2008 Posts: 5

Can't stand straight horror novels. They seem so derivative. I prefer the kind of thing that can stand on its own as literature even if that means the horror element is thin. Supernatural fiction that has a meaning outside of itself, a message without being preachy.

The last horror novel I read that I really hated was one of Clive Barker's. That put me off horror for a long time until I came back to it by reading some supernatural short stories by Gaston Leroux and Guy De Maupassant.

KevinLucia · Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 11:29 am Post subject:

I think the thing with me and horror novels is it's always about the characters. If the character is really developed: someone I truly believe in and care about deeply, and they've been put into a situation that finds its roots in the human experience - then you've got me. For example, Keene's Ghoul got me. The characterization was strong, (made me think a lot of IT), and I really dug the characters. I can say the same thing about Ghost Walk, except it's not out yet, so I suppose I'm not allowed to say. Laughing

But it's the best Keene I've read yet.

That's why so many Saul novels lately have fallen short for me, and also why Fires Rising just didn't get me. Decent enough stories, but I couldn't connect with the characters.

Now, Jigsaw Man, by Gord Rollo....holy cow. THAT was good. The character was set up perfectly, and you just ache for him throughout the whole thing. In my meager attempts to write, that's always my priority - create a character that someone can really care about, put them into a situation that people can connect with - then go for the horror/dark elements. Those are my favorite stories to read and write.

Barry Napier · Acolyte Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Posts: 22

Body Rides - Richard Laymon...it's an okay book but it's one of his famous "no one has done anything perverted for about 50 pages, so let's squeeze a totally unnecessary threesome in right here" kind of deals.

Also, "The Taking" by Koontz. Ugh.
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Natalie L. Sin · Inquisitor Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 76

Unneccesary threesome
Shocked

So it's not like giving head (a la Margaret Cho) ?

Barry Napier · Acolyte Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Posts: 22

HAHAHAHA.

Well, I meant it like this.

"Wow, I'm totally scared that my body has been possesed by this demonic power and that I just killed some dude. What am I going to do---ah fuck it, let's have a threesome."
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ginger · Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:21 pm Post subject:

KevinLucia · Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:49 pm Post subject:

Right. Saul's premises are good, but then I feel "bleah" afterward.

Check out Peter Straub. Now THERE is a guy who can build a character. I love his metafictional author, (I can't remember - Tim something), from the Throat and In the Night Room.

Yeah - I really liked Ghost Walk. I'll post a link to my review when it runs in August. Maybe I should start a thread for that. I review Leisure Books, (and very soon, Black Death Books), for our city newspaper once a month. Right in the middle of all that chick lit, historical fiction stuff. Wink